GREETING CARDS YOU WON'T FIND ANYWHERE ELSE

Shop Cards

you're
the
tits!

holy shit
you look
amazing!

not yo grandma's greeting cards

Coworker Leaving Farewell Card
$5.50

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Happy Birthday Legend
$5.50

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Happy Birthday To The Man Who Feeds Me Card
$5.50

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Another Year Older Still a Badass Bitch Card
$5.50

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unhinged hats

Hot Weather Trucker Hat

Regular price $24.00

Regular price Sale price $24.00
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Pubic Lice Survivors Club Trucker Hat

Regular price $24.00

Regular price Sale price $24.00
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BJ's are Real Jobs Trucker Hat

Regular price $24.00

Regular price Sale price $24.00
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No Serotonin Huge Tits Trucker Hat

Regular price $24.00

Regular price Sale price $24.00
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stickers that slap

Sober & Nailing It Sticker
$4.00

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Diarrhea Queen Sticker
$4.00

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Blow Job Queen Sticker
$4.00

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Don't Be a Dehydrated Bitch Sticker
$4.00

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Woman owned small business

Here's the deal, bitches - I'm all about making people smile and occasionally laugh so hard, they pee their pants a little bit. Seeing swear words in birthday cards made me giggle and here I am now - making the world a funnier place, one card at a time.

you are a
badass

Friendship Cards

Because people need to be appropriately thanked for putting up with your shit.

NORMALIZE + CELEBRATE SOBRIETY

Proudly supporting the sober community because retired animals don't want a lame ass greeting card!

2025 holidays

Scroll left to right
Valentine's Day	February 7	February 14
Mother's Day	May 4	May 11
Father's Day	June 8	June 15
Christmas	December 15	December 25

★★★★★
This card is beautiful, unique and artistic. It's perfect to celebrate an important day and you can't find something like this in a store.

Melissa N
★★★★★
ELLIE DOES NOT MISS! This is my second order and I just can not get enough! I'm obsessed with the packaging & that's how you really win over a person!

Jasmine K
★★★★★
I love this card! You guys have the funniest ones. I can't wait to order more and I can't wait to see my boyfriend's face when he gets it. Thanks so much.

Julia R
★★★★★
Absolutely the funniest and best card I've purchased!! I definitely recommend!! IT WILL BE A HIT!!

Abby
★★★★★
So satisfied! The card I ordered came exactly as I was hoping. It is evident that the seller puts a lot of time and effort into satisfying her customers. Will definitely be buying from this shop again!

Halee S
★★★★★
First of all, I love how my item was packaged. Secondly, I recieved my order quickly. Last, but certainly not least, I love the extra goodies that arrived with my order. I'm definitely ordering from here again!

Deidra
★★★★★
The card is perfect but the packaging was my favorite part. Thank you!

Jessica G
★★★★★
Always ships fast and this shop has the best stuff. Love the details when you receive the items too!!

Corie C
★★★★★
Card is what I wanted, husband loved it and seller was super fast at getting back to me when I reached out, I'm thankful for this shop and their service!

Abby
★★★★★
I love this so much. I gave it to my sister, and my family was passing it around; it got a lot of compliments and smiles. It was delivered quickly, and there was a lot of nice touches on it from the seller. Would definitely buy from this shop again!

Emma