Colts Birthday Card

Snarky Birthday Card for Fans of the Hoosier Horses

Got a friend who's still hoping for a post-Manning miracle and thinks the Colts can gallop their way into football history? Saddle them up with a birthday card that's as cheeky as a fake punt gone wrong.

Front: "Happy birthday even though you're a fucking Colts fan." (Yes siree, we kicked that field goal. Time to corral some reality, partner.)

Features & Details:

• Dimensions: Trotting in at 5in x 7in (A7 card size)—tailor-made to slot next to their Luck or Unitas memorabilia.
• Material: Printed on Indy 500-strong high-quality cardstock, built to withstand even a quarterback injury.
• Extras: Comes with a backup kraft envelope, because Colts fans have grown to appreciate the value of a good second string.
• Protection: Holstered in a cello sleeve, offering better defense than a controversial play call.

Shipping:

• Method: Gallops to you via USPS Ground Advantage. We can't promise a Super Bowl win, but we can promise a timely arrival.
• Tracking: Yep, this stallion comes with tracking so you can follow its dash to the finish line.

Our Guarantee: This card is hoof-stamped with our Hoosier Snark Satisfaction Guarantee. If your Colts-loving buddy doesn't find this more amusing than their last playoff exit, hit the stable. We'll trot out a fix.

Slam 'Add to Cart' faster than a Colt can bolt. Rope in their birthday with the kind of sass that rivals a controversial play review. Make their day one to remember—unlike some seasons they'd like to forget.