Cardinals Birthday Card

Snarky Birthday Card for Fans of the Desert's Red Birds

Do you have a friend who's constantly chirping about the Arizona Cardinals, convinced that their season will soar even in the face of questionable stats? Drop a birthday card into their nest that's got more snark than a commentator on a bad play call.

Front: "Happy birthday even though you're a fucking Cardinals fan." (You bet we winged it. Someone had to ground the flight of fancy.)

Features & Details:

• Dimensions: Tailfeathered at 5in x 7in (A7 card size)—just right to perch next to their Larry Fitzgerald bobblehead.
• Material: Printed on cactus-proof high-quality cardstock, as resilient as a Cardinals fan in December.
• Extras: Nestled with an extra kraft envelope, ideal for those moments when they want to pass the snark to another Red Sea member.
• Protection: Carefully cocooned in a cello sleeve, because it shouldn't get plucked before it reaches you.

Shipping:

• Method: Takes flight via USPS Ground Advantage. It won't win the NFC West, but it will reach your home safely.
• Tracking: Absolutely, includes tracking so you can monitor this Cardinal as it migrates to your mailbox.

Our Guarantee: This card comes with our Cacti-and-Snark Satisfaction Guarantee. If your Cardinals-devoted friend doesn’t tweet happily about this, let us know. We'll make sure your snark lands even if their team often doesn’t.

Hit 'Add to Cart' quicker than a Cardinal can swoop down for a touchdown. Add a layer of snark to their birthday that's as memorable as their team's rollercoaster seasons.