Broncos Birthday Card

Snarky Birthday Card for the Mile-High Mopers

Have a friend who still thinks John Elway is the quarterback and that the Broncos are just a season away from the Super Bowl? Canter into their birthday with a card that's as cheeky as a bucking bronco with attitude.

Front: "Happy birthday even though you're a fucking Broncos fan." (Oh yes, we reined that in. Hold onto your horseshoes, it gets better.)

Features & Details:

• Dimensions: Racing in at 5in x 7in (A7 card size)—perfectly sized to tuck beside their dusty old Super Bowl VHS tapes.
• Material: Printed on Rocky Mountain-sturdy high-quality cardstock, more resilient than a Broncos fan's eternal optimism.
• Extras: Packs a spare kraft envelope, because Broncos fans understand the importance of a backup, especially at QB.
• Protection: Corralled in a cello sleeve, guarding it better than the 'No Fly Zone' secondary.

Shipping:

• Method: Trots to you via USPS Ground Advantage. While it can't guarantee a playoff spot, it does promise a swift arrival.
• Tracking: Definitely. Comes with tracking so you can monitor its sprint as closely as a wild west showdown.

Our Guarantee: This card bears the brand of our Mile-High Snark Satisfaction Guarantee. If your Broncos-buddy doesn't chuckle harder than a Peyton Manning chicken parm joke, we'll hit the rodeo. We aim to impress, unlike some questionable draft choices.

Lasso that 'Add to Cart' button faster than a Bronco out the gate. Saddle their birthday with humor, nostalgia, and a touch of altitude-induced delirium. Just what every Broncos fan needs.