Lions Birthday Card

Snarky Birthday Card for Fans of the Perennial Underdogs

Know someone who's always roaring about the Detroit Lions, despite their record? Make their birthday one for the history books (a much-needed win) with a card that pounces on their unwavering, if somewhat misguided, loyalty.

Front: "Happy birthday even though you're a fucking Lions fan." (Ouch, right? But let's face it, someone had to say it.)

Features & Details:

• Dimensions: Hopeful at 5in x 7in (A7 card size)—sized just right for tucking into that worn-out Lions jersey they still wear every game day.
• Material: Printed on high-quality cardstock that's got a better finish than most Lions seasons.
• Extras: Includes an extra kraft envelope, because let's be honest, a Lions fan is used to needing a backup plan.
• Protection: Safeguarded in a cello sleeve, which is more than we can say for their QB most seasons.

Shipping:

• Method: Sent via USPS Ground Advantage. We can't promise a playoff run, but we can promise timely delivery.
• Tracking: Of course, comes with tracking info. You'll want to monitor this one, unlike those last few minutes of any given Lions game.

Our Guarantee: This card boasts our Suffering-Fan Snark Satisfaction Guarantee. If your Lions-loving buddy doesn't find this as entertaining as their annual Thanksgiving Day debacle, let us know. We're committed to achieving what the Lions seldom do—a win.

Click 'Add to Cart' faster than a Lions fan switching to the Red Wings. Give them a birthday experience that, unlike their team, doesn't disappoint.