How to Be Less of an Asshole This Month (August 2023)

Hello you beautiful bitch, welcome back to the Fuck the Status Quo Podcast in blog form.. It’s your host, Dr. Ellie Blake - the world’s leading and only asshole specialist. 

TV gif. We look up at Rowan Atkinson as Mr. Bean wearing medical scrubs. He pulls down a surgical mask, gives a gloved thumbs up, and smiles maniacally.

It’s August, bitches. How? I don’t quite know. But it is. Which means, it’s that time again for me to give you a legitimate doctor’s prescription on how you can be less of an asshole this month. 

Please remember, that the most important part of not being an asshole is and always will be not being an asshole to yourself. And that’s gonna be the major theme this month. 

Treat Yourself Donna Meagle GIF by Parks and Recreation

Okay, and now I will proceed with my fancy list. 

  1. Be honest. The truth is almost always going to come out. Be honest when you need help. Be honest when you fucked up. Be honest about your feelings. I’m not saying it’s the easy thing to do, it’s definitely not at times. But I have found in my own life that while times of brutal honesty were messy and complicated, that I always felt better afterwards. And I always wished that I had been honest sooner. 
    Are You Serious For Real GIF by Bounce
  2. Recognize when you need a break or to slow down. Especially in America, we are all about this hustle and grind culture. While I love the career path I have chosen for my life, it is not my entire life. It’s hard for me to distinguish that at times. But this summer, I’ve really been trying to slow down a bit. Realize not everything has to get done today or this week and things will still be okay. Life will go on. 
    Relaxing Slow Down GIF by SWR3
  3. Understand that there are some things you will never understand or agree with. And that’s okay. Just because you disagree doesn’t mean things have to get ugly. Think about your co-workers. You don’t get to pick who they are, you don’t love all of them, there’s probably one that really gets on your nerves but you all have to be in this same place together and make it work. If you don’t love and agree with the handful of co-workers you have, what makes you think you will understand and agree with the billions of other people on the planet? We are all totally different people raised in different places all over there world under completely unique circumstances. You don’t have to understand or agree with everyone, you’re not going to, it’s not fuckin’ possible. But that doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole. 
    Schitts Creek Agree GIF by CBC
  4. Stop talking on speakerphone in public. 
  5. Wake up and go to bed with nature. You guys … this shit changed my life. I have struggled with insomnia my entire life, I have been on different medications, tried sleep masks, oils, sleep machines, audiobooks, I’ve seen a sleep psychologist, fuck you name it, I tried it. You know what finally cured me? Well, I guess I already kind of told you. Waking up and going to bed with the sun. Same time every day, baby. This shit sucks at first and it took me a good 4 months to adjust. And I’m not saying I don’t ever sleep in, I do allow myself to sleep in one day a week. I think if you strive for 90% consistency with this, you’ll be a rested and rejuvenated bitch. 
    Time Flies Animation GIF by Mashed
  6. Watch less TV. Okay, it’s August. Depending on where you live, it’s hot out. I get that you might want to chill inside in the AC. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. But don’t spend all your time just laying around watching TV. Cook a new recipe, listen to a podcast, read a book, draw, paint, make a collage, make a scrapbook, do some yoga. If you’re on your period or something or just having a day and you’re like “bitch, I just need to lay in bed all day and watch Netflix” That’s fine. Do that. I rarely commit to a TV show unless I can binge watch it all at once. But don’t do it 2 days in a row. 
    classic film television GIF by FilmStruck
  7. Try a new activity this month. Doesn’t have to be something major. Even going to a new place counts and I’m not talking about a bar or restaurant. Go to a museum, check out a library or a park, maybe drive somewhere that’s an hour or so away that you’ve been wanting to go to but haven’t gotten around to it yet. Make the time, and schedule it in to get around to it. Take one of those wine and painting classes, go to a local theater production. See if your community has any events going on that you wouldn’t normally go to. Call someone you haven’t talked to in a while. 
    Shaking It Up GIF by The Roku Channel
  8. Ask yourself, “Does this support the future life I am trying to create?” Get in the habit of asking yourself that shit as often as possible. It’s a good one to keep you on track. 
    Sports gif. Will Ferrell pensively strokes his chin while watching a basketball game, then stares coldly at us.
  9. Develop a habit for one week and stick to it. Every day, no excuses. I know I talk a lot about taking a day off if you need it and embracing the messy and fuck hustle and gride culture. This is different. We’re not practicing perfection here, we’re practicing consistency. Did you show up every day for yourself? Did you hold yourself accountable? And one week, 7 days, c’mon guys you got this. 
  10. Give someone a compliment. It can be someone you know or a complete stranger. It reduces the assholeness level of the planet. 
    Episode 1 Nbc GIF by The Office

If you’re still reading, you’ve already reduced your assholeness level by 6%. Well done. Quick recap:

  1. Be honest.
  2. Recognize when you need to slow down or take a break.
  3. Be okay with not understanding or agreeing. 
  4. When we’re in public, we hold the phone up to our ears to talk not so that everyone in your vicinity has to hear the conversation.
  5. Rise and sleep with nature. 
  6. Watch less TV. 
  7. Try something new this month.
  8. Ask yourself, “does this support the future life I’m trying to create?”
  9. Develop a habit for one week and do that shit every day. Feel free to go longer than that but commit to one week. 
  10. Compliment someone!

This medicine has been prescribed to you by me - Dr. Ellie. Do this shit and we will see remarkable progress for you next month. 

Too da loo!