Washington Birthday Card

Snarky Birthday Card for Fans of the Team With No Name

Have a friend who's sticking by the Washington Football Team through thick, thin, and rebranding sagas? Gift them a birthday card that's as uncertain about its feelings as they are about their team's future name.

Front: "Happy birthday even though you're a fucking Washington fan." (Yup, we took that fumble and ran with it. Someone had to, right?)

Features & Details:

• Dimensions: Politically correct at 5in x 7in (A7 card size)—just the right size to fit alongside their collection of logo transition memorabilia.
• Material: Printed on Capitol-quality cardstock paper, so it'll at least look stable even if the team isn't.
• Extras: Comes with a supplementary kraft envelope, because we all know Washington fans need as many options as they can get.
• Protection: Safely encased in a cello sleeve, offering better containment than the team’s draft strategy.

Shipping:

• Method: Delivered through USPS Ground Advantage. Unlike a Hail to the Redskins chant, this will actually reach its intended destination.
• Tracking: Indeed, tracking info is included so you can monitor this card like it's a controversial team announcement.

Our Guarantee: Every card comes with our Gridiron (or Whatever It's Called Now) Snark Satisfaction Guarantee. If your Washington Football Team devotee doesn't appreciate your wit more than a controversial ruling, we’ve got you covered. We'll aim to fix it, just like they're always aiming to fix their roster.

Don't delay! Add to cart faster than the Washington Football Team can change their branding. Make this birthday a play that actually scores.