Falcons Birthday Card
Snarky Birthday Card for Fans of the High-Flying Meltdowns
Got a friend who's still nursing their emotional wounds from 28-3 but refuses to give up on the Falcons? Send them a birthday card as memorable as their team's Super Bowl stumbles.
Front: "Happy birthday even though you're a fucking Falcons fan." (Yep, we swooped that low. Someone had to dive into the falconry.)
Features & Details:
- Dimensions: Scaled at 5in x 7in (A7 card size)—just the right size to pair with that faded Michael Vick jersey they can't part with.
- Material: Printed on Peachtree-quality cardstock that's more reliable than a Falcons lead in the fourth quarter.
- Extras: Comes with an additional kraft envelope, because Falcons fans are all about hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
- Protection: Enclosed in a cello sleeve that's more defensive than their past few seasons.
- Method: Soars to you via USPS Ground Advantage. We can't promise a Super Bowl ring, but we can promise it'll arrive on time.
- Tracking: Absolutely. Includes tracking info so you can witness its successful landing, unlike some things we won't mention.
Our Guarantee: This card is delivered with our Falcon-Fumble Snark Satisfaction Guarantee. If your Falcons-loving friend doesn't find this as entertaining as watching another team's championship dreams get dashed, let us know. We aim to not disappoint—something their team should look into.
Click 'Add to Cart' quicker than a Falcon can lose a lead. Make their birthday soar to heights that their team's playoff runs could only dream of.