Browns Birthday Card
Snarky Birthday Card for the Dawg Pound Devotees
Have a friend who's a Browns believer, clutching their Baker Mayfield bobblehead like a talisman for a brighter future? Toss them a birthday card that's as filled with snark as the Dawg Pound is with hope and despair.
Front: "Happy birthday even though you're a fucking Browns fan." (Oh yes, we threw that pass. Someone had to break through the Factory of Sadness.)
Features & Details:
- Dimensions: Measured at 5in x 7in (A7 card size)—fitting enough to slide into their collection of vintage Browns memorabilia.
- Material: Printed on Lake Erie-strong high-quality cardstock, designed to hold up better than most Browns seasons.
- Extras: Includes a backup kraft envelope, because let's face it, Browns fans are used to needing a Plan B... and C... and D.
- Protection: Encased in a cello sleeve, offering more protection than their offensive line on a bad Sunday.
Shipping:
- Method: Delivered via USPS Ground Advantage. It won't bring a Lombardi trophy, but it will arrive safely and on time.
- Tracking: Certainly. Tracking info is included, so you can keep an eye on it like a game-winning drive in the 4th quarter (fingers crossed).
Our Guarantee: Every card comes with our Dawg-Gone Snark Satisfaction Guarantee. If your Browns-fan friend doesn’t find this as amusing as a rare winning streak, let us know. We’re committed to making it right, just like the Browns keep promising to do.
Snap up this card faster than a Browns fan can say, "Wait 'til next year!" Serve them a slice of birthday snark that's as unforgettable as their team's long history of ups and (mostly) downs.