{"title":"Shit Talking Cards","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"whore-card","title":"Funny Birthday Card for Friend — Whore A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSend it to a friend or a foe. No judgment here -- honestly no questions either. You know who this is for and why. The card says it all so you don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39670619930698,"sku":"FRD005","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/AIfaves_9_2adafd64-3fda-42d1-9c17-c8ff911be312.jpg?v=1780160756"},{"product_id":"happy-fathers-day-mother-fucker-card","title":"Funny Father's Day Card from Daughter or Son — Happy Father's Day Mother Fucker A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eIf the name fits. You love him. He knows you love him. But also he is, technically, a mother fucker, and someone had to say it. This is the card for the dad who raised a kid with exactly this kind of sense of humor and honestly has no one to blame but himself.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39670620454986,"sku":"DAD004","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/ChatGPTImageMay17_2026_09_17_50PM.png?v=1779070715"},{"product_id":"from-your-fave-little-financial-burden-dad-card","title":"Funny Father's Day Card from Daughter or Son — Financial Burden A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eHappy Father's Day, Dad. You're welcome for being such a wonderful child. Truly. This card is for the kid who knows their dad is a saint for dealing with them and wants to acknowledge it in the most sarcastic way possible. He'll love it. He raised you, after all.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39817004548170,"sku":"DAD009","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/ChatGPTImageMay17_2026_08_13_04PM.png?v=1779066824"},{"product_id":"funny-birthday-card-for-friend-birthday-card-from-brother-birthday-card-from-sister","title":"Funny Birthday Card for Sibling — Another Year Older Still A Little Bitch A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eKeep them humble. This is the birthday card for the sibling, bestie, or whoever in your life is slightly too big for their britches and needs to be reminded of that on their birthday specifically. They'll laugh. They'll also know you mean it a little.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39833073057866,"sku":"BIR023","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS_45.jpg?v=1779470853"},{"product_id":"funny-birthday-card-happy-birthday-you-fucking-fossil-birthday-card-from-best-friend","title":"Funny Old Age Birthday Card — Happy Birthday You Fucking Fossil A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the loved one who is older than you and never lets you forget it. Now it's your turn and this card is your moment. Use it wisely. They know you love them. The card says that too, just with a lot more honesty about the situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39833073418314,"sku":"BIR021","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS_19.jpg?v=1779465968"},{"product_id":"happy-holidays-shitbag-funny-christmas-card-congrats-fuckers","title":"Funny Christmas Card — Happy Holidays Shitbag A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eJust because it's the holidays doesn't mean you can't still call people shitbags. This card is for the friend, sibling, or person in your life who would find nothing funnier than receiving this in the mail from you. Because they know you and they know this is love.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40454653378634,"sku":"XMS015","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/xmas4_5d928f26-74cf-475f-aad5-efd8c83a988d.jpg?v=1721924553"},{"product_id":"merry-christmas-you-jolly-asshole-card-rude-christmas-card-funny-christmas-cards-hilarious-christmas-card-funny-holiday-card","title":"Funny Christmas Card — Merry Christmas You Jolly Asshole A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eMerry Christmas to the jolly asshole in your life. The one you'd absolutely end up on the naughty list for sending this to -- and honestly good for you. They'll love it. It's the most accurate Christmas card you could send them and they know it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40454667272266,"sku":"XMS028","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/products\/il_fullxfull.4420171005_bgs1.jpg?v=1672507712"},{"product_id":"witty-birthday-card-funny-birthday-card-sarcastic-birthday-card-sister-birthday-card-best-friend-birthday-card-rude-birthday-cards","title":"Funny Rude Birthday Card — Happy Birthday to an Ancient Artifact A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor anyone who has been on this earth long enough to qualify as a historical artifact. You love them. They're old. This card acknowledges both things with equal enthusiasm and zero apologies. They'll laugh. Probably.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40270424113226,"sku":"BIR054","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/IMG-2672.png?v=1779309205"},{"product_id":"i-get-it-from-dad-mothers-day-card","title":"Funny Mother's Day Card from Daughter — I Get It From Dad A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eExplains the chaos in one simple sentence. This Mother's Day card is for the kid who got all their questionable traits from the other parent and needs mom to know that officially. She'll laugh. She already knew.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40277930967114,"sku":"MOM015","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/products\/fancymockupsgreetingcards_81.png?v=1678907190"},{"product_id":"fuck-you-have-a-shit-day-card","title":"Funny Rude Birthday Card — Fuck You Have a Shit Day A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eNot everyone is wired to say happy birthday with warmth and enthusiasm. Some of us just aren't. If that's you -- or if you have a friend who is definitely not your favorite person right now but technically has a birthday -- this card was made specifically for this situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40365092241482,"sku":"BIR079","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS_41.jpg?v=1779470204"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-you-geriatric-fuck","title":"Funny Old Age Birthday Card — Happy Birthday You Geriatric Fuck A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the truly seasoned individual. They've been around long enough to earn this card and they know it. You love them. They're ancient. Both things can be true and this card says so with the appropriate level of enthusiasm for the milestone they've reached.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40369269112906,"sku":"BIR078","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS_97.jpg?v=1779547491"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-ho-bag-snarky-card","title":"Funny Birthday Card for Bestie — Happy Birthday Ho Bag A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the friend who's a little bit of a ho and absolutely loves it about herself. The bestie, the wife, the sister, the girlfriend who would frame this card and put it on her desk. Wishing her a happy birthday while also lovingly calling her a ho bag is the most accurate way to celebrate her, and she knows it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the card for the group chat that has zero filter and even less shame. Send it to the friend who's already screenshotted this listing to her stories. The kraft envelope and Rip Open This Mofo sticker make it feel like an actual gift, not an afterthought.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank for your own message\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous \"Rip Open This Mofo\" sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40422026707018,"sku":"BIR029","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS_34.jpg?v=1779469203"},{"product_id":"merry-christmas-fucker-card","title":"Funny Christmas Card — Merry Christmas Fucker A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eJust because it's the holidays doesn't mean you can't still call your loved one a fucker. This Christmas card is for the person in your life who would receive this and immediately know it was from you specifically and love you more for it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40454664847434,"sku":"XMS014","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/XMS014-1.jpg?v=1701865566"},{"product_id":"happy-retirement-fucking-quitter","title":"Funny Retirement Card — Happy Retirement You Fucking Quitter A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the coworker, boss, parent, or anyone in your life who just retired and earned every single day of it. They spent decades showing up and now they get to stop and they deserve a card that celebrates that with the energy it deserves. Ships in a rigid mailer so it arrives perfectly -- just like their career, but with a better ending.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40423394377802,"sku":"YAY007","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/YAY007_2.jpg?v=1783905770"},{"product_id":"merry-christmas-from-the-jolliest-bunch-of-assholes","title":"Funny Christmas Card — Merry Christmas From the Jolliest Bunch of Assholes A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the jolliest bunch of assholes you know. This Christmas card is for the group -- the family, the friend group, the coworkers -- who would find nothing funnier than receiving this in their holiday card pile. Worth the naughty list. Every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40454825967690,"sku":"XMS033","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/xms033.2.jpg?v=1703237772"},{"product_id":"congrats-on-your-new-job-you-fucking-traitor-card","title":"Funny New Job Card for Coworker — Congrats You Fucking Traitor A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eIf you're lucky, you love your coworkers. But sometimes those assholes leave for bigger and better things. It's okay to guilt-trip them just a little on the way out. This card says congratulations and also how dare you and they need to receive both messages simultaneously.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40479429394506,"sku":"YAY008","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/AIfaves_96.jpg?v=1779815244"},{"product_id":"thanks-fucker-card","title":"Funny Thank You Card — Thanks Fucker A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eGratitude with a side of humility -- exactly what they need. For the person who deserves to be thanked AND reminded not to let it go to their head. Ships flat in a rigid mailer because even a sarcastic thank you deserves to arrive looking great.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40564349435978,"sku":"THX010","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS-2026-06-01T100829.011.jpg?v=1780326579"},{"product_id":"coworker-leaving-gift","title":"Funny Farewell Card for Coworker — So Long Farewell A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eWave goodbye to the departing coworker or boss you'll actually miss. This snarky send-off card says congratulations and also how dare you in the exact right proportion. For the person leaving who genuinely deserves both the good wishes and the guilt trip at the same time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40608444743754,"sku":"FRD021","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/AIfaves_3.jpg?v=1779741280"},{"product_id":"moving-away-card-for-friend","title":"Funny Moving Away Card for Friend — Good Luck in Your Stupid New Town A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the friend who is abandoning you for a new city. You're supportive. Mostly. You want good things for her and also you're a little bit resentful and this card manages to say both at the same time. Send it before she leaves. She'll take it with her and think of you every time she looks at it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003cimg\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40608567394378,"sku":"FRD012","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS-2026-05-23T114758.885.jpg?v=1779554920"},{"product_id":"sorry-your-birthday-is-overshadowed-by-a-dusty-geriatric-man-card","title":"Funny December Birthday Card — Overshadowed by Christmas A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor every December baby who has spent their entire life getting combined birthday-Christmas gifts wrapped in holiday paper with a bow and a little note that says this counts for both. You deserved better. This card gets it. Send it to them or buy it for yourself -- both are valid.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40852486848586,"sku":"BIR017","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS_88.jpg?v=1779761007"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-you-little-shit","title":"Funny Rude Birthday Card — Happy Birthday You Little Shit A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eMake their birthday unforgettable with this hilariously sarcastic card. For the friend, sibling, or family member who loves a good roast and would be slightly disappointed if you went with something sweet. This is not that. This is better.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41283590291530,"sku":"BIR004","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS_67.jpg?v=1779485631"},{"product_id":"rude-birthday-card","title":"Funny Minimalist Rude Birthday Card — Happy Birthday A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the friend who is deeply allergic to fluff and would genuinely prefer a card that keeps it simple and says exactly what it means. This is that card. Minimalist, sarcastic, zero wasted words. They'll love it. Or they'll pretend they don't. Same thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41405057007690,"sku":"BIR071","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS_1.jpg?v=1779462611"},{"product_id":"cant-trust-a-fart-birthday-card","title":"Funny Milestone Birthday Card — Can't Trust a Fart A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the person who is old enough to know that some gambles are just not worth taking anymore. They know exactly which ones. This card is for the friend, parent, or anyone in your life who has arrived at that particular stage of wisdom and deserves to have it acknowledged.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41405180608586,"sku":"BIR011","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/ChatGPTImageMay20_2026_11_23_19AM.png?v=1779294230"},{"product_id":"rude-christmas-card","title":"Funny Rude Christmas Card — Retro Blunt Holiday A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor friends and family who appreciate a touch of humor and a bit of cheek with their holiday cheer. A hilariously blunt retro Christmas card that says what everyone is thinking but nobody else is putting in a card. This one is for the person who would love you more for sending it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41524999127114,"sku":"XMS002o","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/fancygreetingcardmockups_36_cd8355e4-4995-4fc4-963e-50adc32dd4ca.png?v=1722528356"},{"product_id":"birthday-card-for-sister","title":"Funny Birthday Card for Sister — Retro Floral Sassy A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe birthday card that roasts your sister the way only you can -- because nobody else has the history, the receipts, or the audacity. For the sister who would absolutely send you the same thing and think it was a term of endearment. Because it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41608393621578,"sku":"BIR097","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/ChatGPTImageMay19_2026_12_42_52PM.png?v=1779212588"},{"product_id":"you-are-dead-to-me-new-job-card","title":"Funny New Job Farewell Card — You Are Dead to Me A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the coworker who is leaving and will be dramatically missed. This farewell card says you are dead to me with full love and complete sincerity. It's the most honest goodbye card you could send -- and the one they're going to keep on their new desk as a reminder of who they left behind.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41980054503498,"sku":"YAY012","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/AIfaves-2026-05-26T220857.756.jpg?v=1779851348"},{"product_id":"nursing-home-mothers-day-card","title":"Funny Mother's Day Card — Nursing Home Dark Humor A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the mom with a dark sense of humor who will absolutely love this. This Mother's Day card lays out the long-term care situation with the kind of casual tone that only a child who deeply loves their parent could pull off. She raised you. She gets it. Send it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41980120924234,"sku":"MOM002","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/favecardmockups_3.png?v=1741798734"},{"product_id":"nursing-home-joke-card-for-fathers-day","title":"Funny Father's Day Card for Dad — Nursing Home Joke Threat A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis one says I love you while also making the long-term consequences very clear. A Father's Day card for the kid who needs dad to understand that good behavior now directly affects the quality of his future accommodations. Think of it as a loving threat. He raised you. He gets it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42065349673034,"sku":"DAD027","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/ChatGPTImageMay17_2026_09_35_06PM.png?v=1779071715"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-to-an-absolute-dumpster-fire-card","title":"Funny Birthday Card for Friend — Happy Birthday to an Absolute Dumpster Fire A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor that glorious, chaotic friend who is a walking disaster in the absolute best way. The one who has three simultaneous crises and still shows up for you. The one whose life is a dumpster fire and she knows it and she owns it. Happy birthday to her. She deserves this card.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42124200542282,"sku":"BIR031","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS-2026-05-23T105834.791.jpg?v=1779552523"},{"product_id":"boo-you-whore-ween-card","title":"Funny Halloween Card for Best Friend — Boo You Whore A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor your favorite spooky troublemaker this Halloween. The friend who is a little bit witch energy year-round and fully commits to the season. This card says happy Halloween in the most accurate and affectionate way possible and she is going to love it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42404583866442,"sku":"BOO001","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS-2026-06-01T102002.776.jpg?v=1780327210"},{"product_id":"funny-christmas-card-for-sibling","title":"Funny Christmas Card for Sibling — You're Already Getting Me As a Gift A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey already have you. What more could they possibly need? This Christmas card is for the sibling who needs to remind their brother or sister that their presence in their life is literally a gift and they should be grateful. Wrap it. Don't wrap it. Either way it lands.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42506655563850,"sku":"XMS002","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/cardmockups_21.png?v=1757084949"},{"product_id":"another-year-older-still-a-pain-in-my-ass-card","title":"Funny Birthday Card — Another Year Older Still a Pain in My Ass A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the person you love deeply but also want to throat punch occasionally. You know the one. This minimalist card says what you're both thinking on their birthday -- that you love them, that they're a pain in your ass, and that those two things are not mutually exclusive.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42669220921418,"sku":"BIR015","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS_30.jpg?v=1779468744"},{"product_id":"another-birthday-card","title":"Funny Minimalist Birthday Card — Another Birthday A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou're tired. They're getting older. Let's not make a whole thing out of it. This minimalist birthday card is for the person in your life who also thinks birthday cards can be a lot -- and who will appreciate that you acknowledged the day, kept it real, and didn't ask them to feel anything specific about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43118308884554,"sku":"BIR007","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/AIBLANKCARDS_2.jpg?v=1779460906"},{"product_id":"nursing-home-birthday-card","title":"Funny Birthday Card — Nursing Home Joke A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA birthday card that lays out the long-term care situation with the kind of love only family can deliver. For the parent, sibling, or friend with a dark sense of humor who is going to read this, laugh, and absolutely keep it. Reads: \"If you think this birthday card sucks, wait until you see the nursing home I picked out for you.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous \"Rip Open This Mofo\" sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43144975220810,"sku":"BIR032","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS_10.jpg?v=1779464195"},{"product_id":"mysterious-greeting-card","title":"Funny Mysterious Greeting Card — You'll Find Out A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou'll find out. A mysteriously perfect card for literally any occasion -- a birthday, an anniversary, a surprise you're planning, or just because you want to send someone a card that keeps them on their toes. They'll have to wait. This card is the announcement that something is coming.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43202428239946,"sku":"FRD010","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS-2026-06-01T101210.727.jpg?v=1780326744"},{"product_id":"bitchy-sister-birthday-card","title":"Funny Birthday Card for Sister — Growing Up You Were the Biggest Bitch A2 Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eGrowing up, you always thought she was the biggest bitch. Today she is still a bitch but it is her birthday so it is fine. For the sister who has this exact same card saved in her phone to send you in six months. That's the dynamic. You both know it. This card gets it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A2 (4.25\" x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInside: Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a complimentary kraft envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes our world famous “Rip Open This Mofo” sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShipped in a rigid mailer to keep your card pristine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips USPS Ground Advantage — upgrade available at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43231169609802,"sku":"BIR003","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BLANKS_7.jpg?v=1779463782"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.astoldbyellie.com\/collections\/shit-talking.oembed?page=4","provider":"As Told By Ellie","version":"1.0","type":"link"}