{"title":"Greeting Cards Only","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"youre-finally-fucking-divorced","title":"Finally Divorced Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eDivorces suck, but so did your friend's ex. Send a card to congratulate them on their freedom!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cbr\u003e- Front: You're finally fucking divorced \u003cbr\u003e- Inside: blank \u003cbr\u003e- 4.25in x 5.5in (A2 card size) \u003cbr\u003e- World Famous \"Rip Open This Mofo\" envelope sticker included\u003cbr\u003e- Kraft envelope included\u003cbr\u003e- Wrapped in a cello sleeve for added protection\u003cbr\u003e- Shipped in a white cardboard envelope via USPS Ground Advantage\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39450636484682,"sku":"EXX002","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/favecardmockups_15_38c8c0b2-c777-452f-aa15-914897be0775.png?v=1762539243"},{"product_id":"sober-badass-card","title":"Sober \u0026 Badass Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhy should sobriety cards be boring? Sober people like laughing too, duh. Send this to your sober friend who you're hella proud of!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cbr\u003e- Front: Sober \u0026amp; Badass \u003cbr\u003e- Inside: blank \u003cbr\u003e- 5 in by 7 in \u003cbr\u003e- Comes with an extra plain white envelope \u003cbr\u003e - Ships within 1 business day \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40422024872010,"sku":"SBR001","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/soberandbadass-1.jpg?v=1762539242"},{"product_id":"lets-bone-halloween-card","title":"Let's Bone Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eShare your enthusiasm for spooky season with your fave person to bone!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cbr\u003e- Front: Let's bone \u003cbr\u003e- Inside: blank \u003cbr\u003e- 4.25in x 5.5in\u003cbr\u003e- Comes with an extra plain white envelope\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39450638843978,"sku":"BOO003","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/card.png?v=1762539253"},{"product_id":"my-bad-card","title":"My Bad Card","description":"Card Details ↓\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Text: my bad\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Inside: (blank)\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Size: A2 (4.25in x 5.5in)\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eOther Details ↓\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Comes with an extra kraft envelope\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Wrapped in a cello sleeve for added protection\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Processing time is 1-2 business days\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Greeting cards typically take 5-10 business days to arrive* (International shipping time varies)","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39482316324938,"sku":"SRY003","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/mybad-2.jpg?v=1762539707"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-you-beautiful-bitch-card","title":"Happy Birthday You Beautiful Bitch Card","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis funny birthday card is the perfect gift for your best bitch. Printed on high-quality cardstock and even more vibrant in person. Why are you still reading? Add this shit to your cart already. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Card Details ↓\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e- Front: happy birthday you beautiful bitch\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e- Inside: From one beautiful bitch to another\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e- A2 card size (4.25in x 5.5in)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e- Comes with an extra kraft envelope\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt will arrive securely packaged in a cello sleeve to prevent any damage inflicted upon shipping USPS and from your potentially reckless post carrier. It also includes an extra kraft envelope for you. And it makes you look really fancy and adult because it's a really nice envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39570584633418,"sku":"BIR001","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/products\/bitch1.webp?v=1676851437"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-bitch-card-1","title":"Happy Birthday Bitch Card","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eMy best seller Beautiful Bitch Birthday Card needed a sista ... Here she is!\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Front: Happy Birthday Bitch\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Inside: blank\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- 5 in x 7 in\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Comes with a plain white envelope\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Ships within 1 business day\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eBitches love being called beautiful. Even your ugly friends will appreciate this gesture!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39572446183498,"sku":"BIR002","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/BIR002.jpg?v=1696334189"},{"product_id":"happy-halloween-you-spooky-bitch-card-1","title":"Spooky Bitch Card","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSend this to one of your favorite witches!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Front: Happy Halloween you spooky bitch\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Inside: blank\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- 5 x 7in\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Comes with an extra plain white envelope\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Ships within 1 business day\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39572553859146,"sku":"BOO002","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/card_1.png?v=1692043669"},{"product_id":"whore-card","title":"Whore Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSend this card to a friend or foe, I don't give a shit. Thanks for the 6 bucks!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Card:\u003cbr\u003e\n- Front: Whore\u003cbr\u003e\n- Inside: blank\u003cbr\u003e\n- 5 in x 7 in\u003cbr\u003e\n- Comes with an extra plain white envelope\u003cbr\u003e\n- Ships within 1 business day\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39670619930698,"sku":"FRD005","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/whore.jpg?v=1700562403"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-ya-cunt-card","title":"Happy Birthday Ya Cunt Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eTell it like it is, sista!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Card:\u003cbr\u003e- Front: Happy Birthday ya cunt\u003cbr\u003e- Inside: blank\u003cbr\u003e- 4.25in x 5.5in\u003cbr\u003e- Comes with an extra kraft\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39670620291146,"sku":"BIR014","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/fancygreetingcardmockups_7_51f8f87a-7054-4120-9638-ea0ea93fd4b5.png?v=1721517185"},{"product_id":"even-though-im-not-from-your-sack-step-dad-card","title":"Even Though I'm Not From Your Sack Step Dad Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFathers aren't always biological. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39670620389450,"sku":"DAD007","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/even1.jpg?v=1700218403"},{"product_id":"happy-fathers-day-from-your-greatest-mistake-card","title":"Greatest Mistake Father's Day Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eWho knew a mistake could turn out so perfect?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Card:\u003cbr\u003e- Front: Dad, happy father's day from your greatest mistake\u003cbr\u003e- Inside: blank\u003cbr\u003e- Comes with an extra kraft envelope\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39670620422218,"sku":"DAD006","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/pa1.jpg?v=1700558946"},{"product_id":"happy-fathers-day-mother-fucker-card","title":"Happy Father's Day Mother Fucker Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eIf the name fits .....\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39670620454986,"sku":"DAD004","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/fathers1.jpg?v=1700559144"},{"product_id":"i-cant-believe-you-just-willingly-chose-to-put-up-with-my-shit-card","title":"Put Up with My Shit Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eGood for Mother's or Father's Day for your bonus parent! Shit, this card can even be a birthday card. Talk about innovation! \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Card:\u003cbr\u003e- Front: I can't believe you just willingly chose to put up with my shit\u003cbr\u003e- Inside: blank\u003cbr\u003e- A2 Card Size (4.25in x 5.5in)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39670622388298,"sku":"DAD018","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/products\/fancymockupsgreetingcards_69.png?v=1678212922"},{"product_id":"dad-today-wouldnt-mean-shit-without-me-card","title":"Dad Today Wouldn't Mean Shit Without Me Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHappy Father's Day, Dad, but also - you're welcome.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39773308387402,"sku":"DAD003","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/dad003.1.jpg?v=1697623908"},{"product_id":"from-your-fave-little-financial-burden-dad-card","title":"From Your Fave Little Financial Burden Dad Card","description":"Happy Father's Day, Dad, but also - you're welcome for being such a wonderful child.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Card:\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Front: happy dad day love, your fave little financial burden\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Inside: blank\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- A2 card size (4.25in x 5.5in)\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Comes with an extra plain white envelope\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Ships within; 1 business day\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39817004548170,"sku":"DAD009","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/dad4.jpg?v=1707927760"},{"product_id":"like-father-like-daughter-aka-fucking-fantastic-card","title":"Like Father Like Daughter Card","description":"Happy Father's Day, Dad, but also - you're welcome for being such a wonderful child. \u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Card:\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Front: like father like daughter AKA fucking fantastic\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Inside: blank\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- A2 card size (4.25in x 5.5in)\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Comes with an extra plain white envelope\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Ships within 1 business day\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39817012904010,"sku":"DAD008","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/like3.jpg?v=1707927867"},{"product_id":"fuck-cancer-rainbow-card","title":"Fuck Cancer Rainbow Card","description":"Cancer is shitty, cards for it don't have to be. \u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Card:\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Front: fuck cancer\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Inside: blank\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- A2 card size (4.25in x 5.5in)\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Comes with an extra plain white envelope\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Ships within; 1 business day\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39818537762890,"sku":"HUG003","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/fuckcancer.jpg?v=1700219076"},{"product_id":"cancer-aint-got-shit-on-you-card","title":"Cancer Ain't Got Shit on You Card","description":"Cancer is shitty! 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Oh, and some other technical shit below if you're interested. \u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Card:\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Front: 1 year sober I am fucking proud of you\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Inside: blank\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- A2 card size (4.25in x 5.5in)\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Includes extra kraft envelope\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40765138075722,"sku":"SBRM010","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/1YEARSOBERIAMSOFUCKINGPROUDOFYOUCARD1.jpg?v=1699959012"},{"product_id":"its-okay-to-not-be-okay-card","title":"Not Okay Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSend this to a loved one going through some shit. \u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Card:\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Front: It's okay to not be okay\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Inside: blank\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- A2 card size (4.25in x 5.5in)\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e- Includes extra kraft envelope\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39882875306058,"sku":"SYM016","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/5871\/9050\/files\/okay.jpg?v=1700560126"},{"product_id":"youre-my-favorite-person-card-funny-friendship-card-everyone-else-can-eat-a-bag-of-dicks","title":"Bag of Dicks Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShow Your Bestie Some Love with This Snarky Friendship Card!\u003c\/strong\u003e 😜💖\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for your favorite person who appreciates a good laugh and some snark, this card delivers a bold and hilarious message. 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